accumulated stories, part 1.

there haven't been any strangers strolling into my life in the past week.

of course there have been times in the past week when i was in the company of strangers: grocery store, coffee shop, restaurant, a playground, Census Bureau testing site, etc.  but there weren't any conversations with people i don't know that seemed to trigger my inner Barbara Walters.

the things that have shaped me this week, have been conversations with estranged friends.

i am not using the word 'estranged' in the hostile sense of the word, but in the sense of 'fallen out of touch', 'on different pages in life', or 'we just don't make a point to incorporate each other into our busy lives'.

at least four different types of these conversations this week.  three of them were in person, one of them was in a long and encouraging facebook message.

here's what i learned:

part one: after posting a facebook status about my current unemployment situation, i received an email from Max, who used to be my Manager when i was a waitress at a local restaurant.  i put in my notice late in the summer of 2008, he left the restaurant shortly after, although the two of us leaving had no bearing on the other; we were both done working there. 

Max wrote to tell me that although i may not have the fondest memories of him, that he is really encouraged to see what i am like outside of the restaurant setting.  he said that my facebook updates "let me see you for the person you are which is: smart, clever, very creative, fun loving and good."  the day that i got this email, i was having a hard-hard day.  i was energized to know that Max had logged in and made a point to speak to me. 

After returning his message with a grateful response, he wrote to me again, encouraging me again: you are a principled person grounded by a strong faith. You've got a good heart and your motives are true. So act you act out daily life, keep that in mind and the actions will flow a little easier.  What I really like about your facebook updates is the consistency in optimism. You aspire to good times, good people and good situations regardless of whether life is giving them to you or not.

wow.

it was so strange to have someone, who i haven't spoken with since Fall 2008, who was almost an antagonist in many of our interactions in Summer 2008, whisper their way into my attention in the past week.  Max isn't a stranger, but he was an out of touch co-worker from my past.  what i've learned from these conversations with Max are many:

truth carries:  i am honest in my facebook statuses, and that honesty is appreciated.
not everybody has it figured out: Max has been unemployed just as long as i have been.  He's been living out of his car on a grand-adventure touring the U.S. since he stopped working at our restaurant.
preconceived notions are garbage: you can't guess what tomorrow will bring, so throw out your expectations.
you are an investment worth making: anybody who tells you otherwise needs to invest in themselves a little more.  every step you can make towards being authentic and yourself is a step worth taking. the people who 'get you' may not be many, but being yourself is a reward in itself; who cares who else 'gets it' as long as you do.
some people make it, some people don't: but there is no reason to believe i am not in the former.  circumstances change, character is what matters.
optimism is contagious: and it doesn't have an expiration date.

it has been encouraging to me, in a way that i know is from the Spirit, for me to know that the things i needed to have confirmed, and the things that i have been questioning are being addressed in the conversations that i have had with the people who have helped me be the person i am today.  i am cared for, i am valuable, i am not alone, i am writing my story, i am learning the stories around me; we are all worth the time it takes to listen.

parts 2-4 to come soon.