Marilyn in the Park

It was the second day after i had launched the YourStoryMattersToMe project, and i was in the park with the children that i sit for. There was a woman and her granddaughter just on the edge of the playground. As the sun was setting  and it was time to leave, we headed in her direction and as we did, i could tell that she wanted to talk to me. And, well, i was not opposed to it.

She was an older woman, in her early 60's, gray eyebrows, red hair, light blue eyes. She says her name is Marilyn and that her granddaughter's name is Clarice. Clarice begins to play with the older boy that i am watching. Marilyn tells me that she came across this park on accident; that she and Clarice were headed downtown for dinner but the train had diverted them into the park for a spell. She tells me that that she and Clarice spend 3 days a week together after-school.

Without Marilyn, Clarice would have to ride the bus for 1 hour to and from school. Instead of allowing Clarice, who is in first grade, to continue feeling lonely and alienated on the long bus-ride home everyday, Marilyn volunteered to pick her up 3 days a week. She and Claire have a relationship because Marilyn CHOSE to have a relationship with her granddaughter.

She said: "My daughter and son-in-law were like, Are you sure you want to pick her up and watch her this often? to which Marilyn replied "Of course! I want her to know me and I want to have a relationship with her."

i asked Marilyn what she does, she tells me that she had retired at age 50 a few years back, after having been an accountant. Her husband's job as a computer programmer was secure and provided more than enough for them to live on. She laughed as she said that she had just bought her Mercedes when her husband's company went under and he lost his job. She said that when that happened, she had no choice but to come out of retirement and go back to work. She found a job at a temp agency and worked in three different offices before she was able to work part-time at her son-in-law's business.

Marilyn's husband has been going blind for a few years now, and she told me with a distant look on her face. She wasn't seeking pity, although, that is the emotion that i felt immediately. As i spoke to her, i asked her if she had any advice for me about finding a job. Her answer:

"In these CRAZY times? I don't know if I should be giving any advice on that! My father, who finished school in 1936 said that when he got out, he and his friends took WHATEVER THEY COULD FIND. Maybe that is what you should do, although, it looks as though you are already doing that."

i do have to say that i wasn't exactly encouraged by my exchange with Marilyn, more like challenged by it. i don't want to do "Whatever i can find", the thought of this sends my mind to babysitting, waitressing, cleaning, etc. But in the same stream of thought i find myself asking "What's wrong with those things? Aren't i called to serve?" the answer is Yes. i would hope that my own sense of entitlement isn't keeping me from experiencing my life, and serving others.

This was our final exchange, as we parted ways my oldest boy and Clarice acted as if they were devastated to be told that their bird and squirrel hunt was over.  i was surprised and caught unprepared for my conversation with Marilyn in the park, as i had nothing to write on and my camera was out of my purse. She will never know that she was a part of this project, or that she was being interviewed, unless someone can figure out who she is and then pieces puts us in touch. i was glad to talk with her; for us to provide adult-conversation for each other for a little over 20 minutes. In any case, from now on i'm equipped with notepad and camera, ready to embrace the conversations that are provided for me as i continue to learn about myself through others.